Katy Perry’ Super Bowl Halftime Gig Confirmed

Helga Esteb /

We must be living in a teenage dream. Katy Perry will serenade us during the Super Bowl halftime show. So awesome.

Nothing screams obsession more than the NFL’s continuous attempt at procuring teenybopper fare for the halftime show of the largest single sporting event in the history of the world.

Apologies. That’s right. Katy Perry’s fans are hardly teenyboppers. Just adults who have bought into the MTV, VH1, BET/Viacom agenda of prolonging the teenage experience into the mid-30s and beyond.

Just ask Katy, who still has the early-20s sexpot thing down to a science. She’s 30. She wants to be respected like an intelligent woman, yet she continuously sells ice-cream that is topped with sprinkles and hypersexuality.  That said, she’ll break viewer records when she takes to the stage on Sunday, February 1, 2015.

Where is the Super Bowl this year, you ask? It’s in Glendale, AZ, home of the Arizona Cardinals. Yes, this is the greater Phoenix area, for those who are interested. Scoring a ticket to the whole shebang is reserved for the elite. Real fans of the football teams–both teams are TBD–and fans of Katy Perry, don’t fit into the mix of who attends the Super Bowl.

Katy recently hinted at the Super Bowl halftime performance within a Pepsi commercial when she suggested the stadium could be covered with glitter, and that they could fill the stadium with kittens–you know, all that fun stuff that kids like–then drench it with a performance, and clever lyrics that are completely about sex.

Oh, that Katy Hudson, er, Perry… Such a superstar. Wonder if she’ll experience any wardrobe malfunctions?

For more on this magical announcement, check out the video below.


James Sheldon