Piers Morgan Sounds Off On LeBron James

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Piers Morgan slammed LeBron James for touching Kate Middleton after a Cavaliers v. Nets game. The royal couple wanted to grab a quick photo with basketball royalty.


Where did Piers offer his typical, British bitchfest? The Rachael Ray Show. Where else? Piers doesn’t have his own show anymore, so he has to reserve his incessant complaining for moments when he’s a guest in someone else’s TV home.

Before we progress: Are you wondering why The Piers Morgan Show didn’t quite last three years. A good guess: because people grew tired of his shtick, and his being an expert on everything. Or it could just be that the show sucked with the power of a Dyson vacuum cleaner.

Back to task.

Piers was not pleased that LeBron put his “sweaty arm” around Kate Middleton while they posed for pictures with future King, William. And Piers wagged a heavy finger at LeBron for the post-game gaffe, considering appropriate, royal etiquette.

Piers Morgan, please report to my office.

Have a seat.

Piers. How’s it goin’? Good? That’s great. Let’s get a few things straight.

You seem to have a problem with American culture, and subculture, but you certainly love the business opportunity, and cash flow. Can you deduce where I’m going with this? Great. Let’s move on.

Nobody really cares that you have a King and Queen in England, other than your fellow English, and a few people obsessed with the way the world operated for the ancients. The vast majority of the world population? Nope. Don’t care.

Being an “expert” on everything, you’ll understand the following: The whole concept of a King and Queen was born out of the desire for the most powerful people to become incarnate deity–a god people could see and worship. And they did, because they were told that’s what they should do by the false gods. Kinda paradoxical, isn’t it? A great example: the Kim Jongs of North Korea.

Once upon a time it came from military conquest, enviable politicking, and yes, in the case of William (who seems like a stellar guy), it trickled down through bloodline.

Over the years, this has changed. Why? Because most royals (or dictators like KJ Un) were/are colossal a**holes. An expertise you share and understand completely. At least Great Britain had the good sense–because your fellow Brits are wonderful–to realize this, and make its royalty nothing more than a nod to its longstanding, historical tradition.

Here’s something else to consider. When visiting royals enter another culture, there’s generally an understanding that customs vary–there are inconsistencies in etiquette, and what may or may not be socially uncouth to the commoner. We Americans being serfs and all.

But let’s be reminded of one thing, shall we, Mr. Morgan. William and Kate came to see LeBron play basketball… LeBron did not visit Buckingham Palace to sit for High Tea. Are you picking up what I’m laying down?

If not. Allow me to make it crystal clear.

July 4. 1776.

For those of you who’d like to see Piers complain about more stuff that you don’t care about… check out the video below!


James Sheldon